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between two primes
Joined: 16 Dec 2004
Posts: 711
Location: tokyo
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 Posted: Tuesday, May 20th 2008 5:46 pm Post subject: They say Marc Jacobs is the new Andy Warhol |
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crispyambulance
Joined: 20 Oct 2006
Posts: 9
Location: SEX
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| Posted: Saturday, May 24th 2008 3:19 am Post subject: |
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Couple of the more blatant things:
"Of course, if you hear a song too many times it eventually loses its meaning (just ask Bob Dylan). It’s the same with repeating a single image ad nauseam (as Andy Warhol did)." Alway always always make things parallel. "(just ask Andy Warhol)"
Then after a bumbling description of "LV" you end it with: "(In case you didn’t make the link, I’m saying that LV is as superficial as they come)," which ends up being somewhat insulting to (me) your audience. You're trying too hard.
Just some friendly suggestions! |
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eden
Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Saturday, May 24th 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Alway always always make things parallel. |
I actually disagree with that. It actually makes it sound a bit cliched to my ears.
| Quote: | | Then after a bumbling description of "LV" |
Uhhhh I find it useful for you to tell me why it's bumbling.
| Quote: | | : "(In case you didn’t make the link, I’m saying that LV is as superficial as they come), |
Well, I didn't know if I was clear enough or not, hm? Not everyone is intelligent as you.
Now, I don't think I'm trying too hard. I'm 16 and I'm going to make mistakes, yeah? I just sat down and wrote what I wanted to. I just wrote it. Surely trying too hard wouldn't be...just writing it? |
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crispyambulance
Joined: 20 Oct 2006
Posts: 9
Location: SEX
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| Posted: Sunday, May 25th 2008 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| eden wrote: | | Quote: | | Alway always always make things parallel. |
I actually disagree with that. It actually makes it sound a bit cliched to my ears.
| Quote: | | Then after a bumbling description of "LV" |
Uhhhh I find it useful for you to tell me why it's bumbling.
| Quote: | | : "(In case you didn’t make the link, I’m saying that LV is as superficial as they come), |
Well, I didn't know if I was clear enough or not, hm? Not everyone is intelligent as you.
Now, I don't think I'm trying too hard. I'm 16 and I'm going to make mistakes, yeah? I just sat down and wrote what I wanted to. I just wrote it. Surely trying too hard wouldn't be...just writing it? |
Well, uh, I guess we have differing assholes (oh this word filter is magnifique, Tim).
At the time, it seemed a bit over long, yet looking back at it it's really not like much of anything's being cut could improve it, and I have a feeling my bumbling criticism might have been a reaction to what ensued parenthetically, and it's pretty much fine without what ensued parenthetically.
On the parentheses! Why wouldn't you just look back over your description and edit it as clear as possible so that you are confident in its powers of conveyance rather than having an aside to cut the "subtlety"'s pretense and then saying at the end what you actually meant? Why not just cut the bullshit and just say Vuitton is the essence of posturing outright and save me a few seconds? And the way you phrase it: "In case you didn't make the link," it's like you're blaming me because you lack confidence in what you put down, a lacking which is pretty unwarranted because a mediocrely intelligent person like me could make the link. Why are you trying to appease the lowest common denominator anyway? Fuck them.
Well, at your age you probably are trying too hard just because you haven't really had time to wring out your personality which is a lot harder than you might or might not believe. Just go with the flow! There is nothing wrong with writing what you did at your age, really! Learn from your mistakes, etc.! |
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eden
Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Sunday, May 25th 2008 5:15 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know what to say!
I'll delete the parentheses! Maybe I'll even say "Louis Vuitton is shit".
Looking back, that's where I think I'm "trying too hard".
| Quote: | | Well, at your age you probably are trying too hard just because you haven't really had time to wring out your personality which is a lot harder than you might or might not believe. |
I know there isn't! I think it's pretty damn good! I will improve!
Lots of exclamation marks!
And um, thanks. Sorry I acted like a bitch in my last response. |
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crispyambulance
Joined: 20 Oct 2006
Posts: 9
Location: SEX
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| Posted: Monday, May 26th 2008 1:56 am Post subject: |
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Well, uh, it's good you took out the parentheses.
I just read the entire article for the first time (parentheses OK?) and I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to say; though, being nonsensical can have its value if that is what you were going for/end up doing it well. I'm kind of ambivalent on if you did it well. Though, though (!) I kind of like the succinct edition of the whole Louis Vuitton relationship.
I'm working on an idea that there is correlation with how much you dislike your work and how good it is. The only problem is I hate my work yet it really does suck.
Happy (I'm lying) to help! Maybe I just wanted to feel big by criticising your efforts! Who knows? (#^,^#) |
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Mr. Apol
son of a bitch
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 298
Location: a curiously familiar pit
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| Posted: Monday, May 26th 2008 4:29 am Post subject: |
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if it makes you feel better, eden, my writing has just gotten progressively worse the longer i've posted here lol
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eden
Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Monday, May 26th 2008 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | and I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to say |
well, what do you think I'm trying to say? |
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crispyambulance
Joined: 20 Oct 2006
Posts: 9
Location: SEX
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| Posted: Monday, May 26th 2008 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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| eden wrote: | | Quote: | | and I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to say |
well, what do you think I'm trying to say? |
Well, it seems like you're indecisive on whether Marc Jacobs is the new Andy Warhol or whatever which is kind of a stupid question anyway. yet I would point out that I'm not exactly the most perceptive person. |
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eden
Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Monday, May 26th 2008 3:20 pm Post subject: |
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It's not really about that. It is on a superficial level, yet it's really just something I felt like writing. It's more a...look at Marc Jacobs. It's just writing about fashion today
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"I want to ask him how it feels to be him. How does it feel to be someone you’re not? How does it feel to design fast-fashion? (read: Louis Vuitton). You, Marc, are this creative, creative guy and you’re doing….all this? What drives you to do it? "
The above extract is important, I think. That's more what the piece is about. |
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crispyambulance
Joined: 20 Oct 2006
Posts: 9
Location: SEX
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| Posted: Tuesday, May 27th 2008 1:53 am Post subject: |
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| Yeah, all right. That, um, works I guess. |
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CubaLibre
worthless piece of shit
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 334
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| Posted: Thursday, May 29th 2008 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Mr. Apol wrote: | | if it makes you feel better, eden, my writing has just gotten progressively worse the longer i've posted here lol |
Mr. Apollyon I do believe I disagree.
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Crackity Jonze
hoople head
Joined: 02 May 2006
Posts: 70
Location: FUNabashi
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| Posted: Friday, June 13th 2008 2:06 am Post subject: |
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so, ahh, just wondering...are you saying you don't like commercialism?
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eden
Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Thursday, June 19th 2008 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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no! and yes!
i think some commercialism is great, the louis vuitton sort, not so. |
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